Personal development

How to discover and understand who you are and finally start to live

DANIEL KUŽELA · 23. března 2016

Being alive does not mean you are actually living. It is necessary firstly know and understand yourselves. This is the story, how I achieved this.

How to discover and understand who you are and finally start to live

To begin with

What living actually means

Maybe you say: „I am living!“ But it really is true?

Being alive does not mean you are actually living. There is a big abyss, which has been made during last decades, between normal, ordinary live and actual living.

So what does living actualy means?

The real living could be translated as authentic life. The life in accordance with ourselves. With our souls. With those, who we really are. The life, where we know everything about ourselves.

It is life, when we spent every single day with doing something that makes sense for us, that we love, we have a passion for and when we forget about time while doing it.

The life, in which we are able to fulfil our mission, personal visions and dreams, life in which we are able to show the best ourselves.

The life when we spend every day, as it might be our last one.

Anyway, who would like to spend his last day doing something that he does not love?

Who keep living from us

It is the system, society. Immoral, unprincipled, money and power driven, „sick“ system. We are born unique. But instead of developing ourselves like that, so we can contribute to the world with the best we have gained, we are all in the same queue as trained monkeys. They are marking us and the only thing that happens is that we became an average, ordinary person.

Those, who are „better ones“ go to the University. Some of us are not „so good“. Those are not allowed to go to the University, because he/she is not good at Mathematics for example. But nobody cares that they are really good at some different things.

This kind of person is marked as stupid and finally he ends up with persuading himself, that he really is. That he is not good enough. And he completely forgets the fact, that he has got something he is better at than the others. Better than those who just gossip behind his back, that he is not at the University, as they are. Because this is completely different „type of game“.

Who cares we can cook, kick the ball or keep the garden better than the bank director. After all, we have charts, where is written he is better than we are. And this is a kind of society we are a part of. This is what we let happen.

Why is it hard to start living

It is the same as to learn how to walk again. As to swim upstream, as to come wearing pink somewhere where everybody is in black.

The society „helps“ us, so we are afraid to do something differently, than the others.

We have to find out the courage to be marked by the society as „different, strange, weird.“ We have to find out the courage to wear that pink suit so we can start to fight for our life. The courage and a will.

How to build a bridge above that abyss again

The bridge between over the abyss, thas makes difference between life and living, is I belive the personal development.

It means to realize that the abyss is real, that it has been made between us and our real personality. And it is about learning how to be yourself again, how to build that bridge and how to start living again. It is rediscovering the harmony and concordance of the body, mind and soul.

The first step in discovering yourself

I can remember myself 2 years ago. I did not know anything about this. And neither about myself.

Nobody told me what is trully important in life. How thin is the line between living it and just wasting it. Nobody lead me to learn about myself. To find out who I am and how can use it to make my life better.

Thank you, school.

The day, when my view of life had started changing, was the day when I started to read the book „The end of procrastination“.

By that time, I was still working as a real estate agent and I bought the book, because I had big problems to persuade myself to actualy work. I was happy when somebody cancelled a meeting and I did not earn nearly anything, because I did not like doing it.

When I read the book, after 2 weeks of thinking about it and I quit.

The thing, which made me think about it was the first half of the book. A theory. The theory about why we procrastinate.

I am sure, there are plenty of books with the similar topic. But my eyes had opened this one. And I enjoyed reading it. It was quick and easy to understand. And there were pictures, too :)

So, the first important step is understanding.

Understanding, how important is what we do. Understanding, why our colleague can love the same work we hate.

Understanding our personal uniqueness and its role in the daily life.

Personal uniqueness in practice

I believe that the uniqueness which every single person has can allow us doing one exact thing better, than any other person in the whole world does.

Some things we like, some of them we do not like. Things we are good at and those we are not good at.

And behind all of these, there are things we love, we have a passion and talent for, we are naturally good at and we ignore the time while doing it.

This situation is called flow, and if we do the thing on regular basis, if we train and we become better, we are able to achieve the real mastership. Do things better than anyone else.

Somebody found out we have to spend 10K hours doing the exact activity, so we can achieve the mastership. And honestly, who would like to spend 10K hours doing something, he is not good at, he does not like and he has to forcing himself in doing it?

Everything is related.

Unfortunately, in school they do not teach us how to listen our intuition, soul, our subconscious.

Be your own coach

I have started with searching coaching question related to the topic „How can I find out my strenghts, talents,“ and so on. After some time I realized, it is even more complex and difficult.

The first questions, I have started to find out the answer were these:

  • Who I wanted to become in my childhood?
  • When I was a child, who I was mostly pretending to be?
  • When I lose a control of time? Doing which activity?
  • What makes me happy?
  • What am I good at?
  • What can I do with easiness?
  • What other people admire on me? With what they want to help from me?
  • How the ideal working day looks like?
  • What would be on my business card or my gravestone?
  • Which subjects do I like at school?
  • What were the best three successes in my life?

Maybe you will find some others, or they can come up to your mind as well. But everything needs its own time. Then spend some time on it and go deeper. Firstly, answer your questions and then ask yourselves why things are the way they are.

I thought about everything and the first thoughts, feelings and pieces of information started to come out.

It was a stage when I told to myself what I definitely do not want to do (work as a real estate agnet) and what I would probably like to do.

What happened was that I started to jump from one thing to another. People often told me that I do not know what I want. It was a long journey, but it was worth it. An important thing for me was:

Making a feedback and building my awareness

When you start to think about doing anything, try it. Because when you actually begin with finding, the law of attraction will start to work and nothing will be a waste of time. Because you just attracted it to your life.

I jumped from one thing to another, but thanks to each of them I realized something new about myself.

When you try something and after some time you realize, that you are not that into it, it does not matter. But you have to make a feedback. You have to think about it, why you feel about it the way you feel and was was the first reason you actualy gave it a try. And ask yourself often - WHY?

You have to subdue you life with the research. It is the same as peeling an onion.

Think about everything. Why something bores you and something not. Why do you like it or whether not. Why can some different situations cause different feelings and what are those feelings and emotions? Make a feedback on everything you experience, on each thought.

Every information is important. Because after that, you don’t know only in what you are good at and in what you are not. You just begin with uncovering your whole profile. Your identity.

Your strengths and talents, your values, motivations, character, how you react on exact situations, what causes which emotions on you, what makes you happy, who you need to be surrounded with and what you are trying to find in your best friend, what is your goal, what do you want to achieve, how would you like to contribute and help the world, who is your hero and on the top of that – what is your mission.

Think about it. It is mainly about living the life and it is worth it!

The other thing you can gain from this search it also the fact, that it helps you with the increasing of your self-confidence.

Remember, THE GOAL is THE WAY. And this way is nice and I am the one, who can prove it.

I wish you from all my heart that you will gain the same feelings, which I could have experienced and which it brought and still brings to me.

Did it helped you with anything? To realize or to change anything? Would you like to ask me any question? Write it in the discussion, I will answer back to everybody.

I would appreciate if you contact me at for any mistakes in my english. I will send you my love and quote your name.

Love and thanks to:
Tereza Weichslova (translation help)

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Daniel Kužela

Daniel Kužela
I read, discover, observe, get inspired and also think a lot. With my mind opened I am trying to gain wisdom and learn how to „be“ and how to live a meaningful authentic life in accordance with myself, my soul, surroundings and with the planet we all share. Facebook · LinkedIn